There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
The adults are the big ones right?
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
