You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
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