My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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