My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
