Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
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