You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
This beer is not sobering me up at all
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Randomize
