there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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