"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
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