We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
