Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
