Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
