Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
