I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Randomize
