3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
