He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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