This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Randomize
