i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Randomize
