God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
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