conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Randomize
