So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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