Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
