Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize
