i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
You left your underwear on the fireplace
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
