Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
