I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
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