Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
