I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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