he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
