you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Randomize
