Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
