are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
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