my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
