real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Randomize