Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
We are all done wearing pants today
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
