i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
Randomize
