I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
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