She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
FUCK WHALES
Randomize
