i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
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