Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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