I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
