U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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