I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
