Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
