He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
