We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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