Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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