The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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