That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Randomize
