i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
