Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
it's great music for shaving your balls
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
