Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
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