Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Randomize
